child / little kid dialogue
is very important to have a clear, open, and trusting relationship with
the little kid/inner child part of us. This is the part of us that is
connected most with our feeling nature. Our feeling nature is our core.
"We all are feeling our way through our feeling experiences"
as one of my mentors would always say. We can not know many times what
to do, or what is going to happen until we experience the situation
and commit the experience to our history of memory. So, we can not pre-structure
what we would do or feel. However, we can be clear enough to respond
in the present moment and not react because of past experience. This
takes getting to know ourselves from the inside out. Knowing where and
how we are vulnerable and loving and accepting that part of us is key.
We all need to respect and take care of the part of us that is vulnerable,
not just the part that we feel is a hero or has "it" all together.
have many parts inside. These parts need and want different things.
It is up to us as healthy individuals to manage these parts and their
needs. They are our needs, whether we are consciously aware or not.
These needs will try to get expression. These parts or aspects can also
be called sub personalities; and they make up the totality of our personality.
Totality meaning whole, the whole part and this implies wholeness. There
are basic sub personalities and parts, and then there are parts that
are as individual as the person. Just think of these parts or aspects
of self as different ways of expressing who you are. When you have healthy
full self expression things run smoothly. Think of a source of water
that becomes clogged or dammed up. You may not notice the clog for awhile,
but at some point the dam will break; or the clog will cause an over
flow in another area.
process is to connect with that part of you that perhaps is not heard
that often. Again, it is easier for all of us to focus on the part of
us that "seems" to be successful or that can plow through
any challenge. However, there is a part of everyone that just wants
to take a rest, play without an agenda, or just be nurtured and taken
care of. This part knows no gender. It is the male and female of us.
Unfortunately, this part of all of us has been disowned and left out.
This part of us is down played and in fact ignored in our main stream
society. This part is rarely, if ever, advertised to. This is the part
many of us want to forget about. This is the part that connects us to
our feeling nature, to our dreams to our humanity. This is the part
that shows us our humanity and how we are all connected. This part when
listened to, heard, acknowledged, accepted and loved opens us to compassion
in a way that allows us to achieve much more than we once dreamed. However,
though this is the part is such a small part it holds our key in ways
one could only imagine
begin this process go to a place or create a space that feels safe to
you; preferably a place where you wont be disturbed mid process.
Think about your present circumstances. There could be and issue or
concern you have. Or, you could just be curious. Whatever the reason
you have for connecting with this part of you is perfect, is the right
reason for you.
in your journal or on a piece of paper:
Hello. May I talk with you?
2. I am
here to get to know you.
3. I would
like to know more about you.
4. I am
now here for you; whether I was a lot or a little in
the past I am more and more fully here for you.
5. What do you need from me at this
6. How can we be closer?
7. How can I listen to you better?
this questions internally in your own mind an d in your own time you
may or may not get full answers. Sometimes you wont receive anything
verbal. Perhaps, just a feeling. Stick with the process consistently.
This is like any good relationship/friendship it takes time to trust.
There may be some trust issues with you and your little kid/inner child
part of you. So, take the time. You are worth it.
want to get into a comfortable relaxed position.
Close your eyes. Begin focusing on your breath with your eyes closed
focused on your heart-lung area. Allow your breath to slow down. Focus
on you and how you are feeling. You can breath in for a count of 3.
Hold for a count of 3. Breathe out for a count of 3. Do this a few times
until you feel more relaxed and focused on your inner state.
these questions of yourself. After asking the question focus within
and without censoring note your answers either mentally or by writing
in your journal. (I suggest writing them down) Do this with each question
and take as long as you like. You will know when you are finished by
a feeling of neutrality and completion. You will feel a little or a
lot more settled.
Feel free to ask as many questions as you like and to respond. This
is your relationship with this inner aspect of you. Be respectful and
compassionate with the information you receive. You are building trust
and learning about a deeper part of you. This all takes time.
you invest, the better the quality of the relationship and your understanding.
Love and accept yourself. This inner part has so much to share with
Next Level Process. After you have developed more rapport, feel more
trusting you can begin to have a real partnership with this aspect of
1. What did you need
when you were a child that you did not get?
2. How can you now get
3. How can I (the healthy
adult self ) provide this?
4. What are you fearing
now? (anxiety-afraid of
5. Tell your little kid/inner
child that you are here now- listening, hearing, acknowledging, and
that you understand so much more now about her/him.
6. Tell her/him that
Safety in her/his environment
Right to be
Right to feel and express feelings. That all her/his feelings are ok.
That she/he needs to feel ok acknowledging them. That feelings are different
That one may feel feelings and acknowledge them; yet respond or behave
differently. That it is important to acknowledge and express feellings
That you are hear now and listening working/creating together with his/her
needs in consideration.
You have the right to be listened to, heard, acknowledged, and understood.
This understanding comes from someone understanding how you could feel
how you feel, or that you feel a certain way even though they may not
understand it for themselves or agree.
You have a right to full self expression, to create and express yoursself.
That others may not always agree with how you are feeling, or what you
think, but you are entitled to have and express your feelings.
comfort and safety for your inner child/little kid.
Release fear and anxiety by listening, hearing, acknowledging, understanding
and honoring this part of you. This is you. You have a responsibility
to yourself to understand all parts of yourself- to understand how you
feel, and perhaps why. You may not always agree with yourself, as others
may not agree with you; yet you can understand and have respect/love.
For Taking Back Projections